So we had our baby shower for my baby girl who is coming in January. My mother-in-law brought over a baby first aid kit. I am fully aware as to why that is a thing – but HOLY SHIT I really wish it wasn’t. This was the moment that I realized that I will be responsable for keeping a tiny human alive. Let me tell ya .. I am freaking the fuck out.
I struggle to keep myself alive. Just a couple of months ago I drank so much at a golf outing and bar that I threw up for 4 days. It’s shocking that I was able to stay alive during that, now I am expected to keep another human alive?! And not even a human that can say “I’m hungry” or “I’m hot”. I learned at this baby shower that babys can easily overheat and die. There is also a thing where babies just stop breathing.
I am dead serious when I say this, I have no idea how I will sleep. I will be looking at the baby camera waiting for movement every 45 seconds. What the hell do I do if she stops breathing? I don’t know how to do CPR on a full-sized adult. I am expected to do CPR on a 11 pound human?!
Am I allowed to just live in the hospital for the first year? Is that an option?
In all seriousness. I am very excited and happy to have a daughter coming into this world. But I am fucking TERRIFIED of having to keep her alive.
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