The Masters is back! This means that we must talk about what your meal would be if you were to win the masters. So many people go for crazy gourmet meals. I get it, ball out. I would go in a very very different direction.
For those who do not know, the previous winner of The Masters gets to select what is served at the Masters dinner. There is an appetizer, first course, main course and dessert. This year Jon Rahm is going ALL OUT with a Spanish feast. Respect. Nothing but respect there. It sounds amazing. Just like Jon Rahm is embracing his heritage, I will do the same. McDonalds will be catering.
I will have to get creative for the appetizer. But after thinking long and hard, there will be Fries, Apple Slices, Hash Browns and biscuits. I know what you are thinking “Oh my God, that sounds delicious. That is going to look amazing presented on stainless steel plates.” I know – I know. There will be some fights over who gets the last hash brown.
Wait until you hear about the main course .. wait for it .. Happy Meals. You will be able to choose either the 6 piece Chicken McNuggets or the Cheeseburger. The 4 piece will be excluded because everyone who is at the Winners Dinner is above the age of 3. 4 McNugs? That doesn’t count as a meal. Here is the best part, this will be the first Winners Dinner that everyone will be leaving with a toy. The trades that will be going on for the different toys that year will be incredible. I won’t be surprised if Tiger offers up one of his jackets to leave with an additional toy.
I know what you are thinking “How are your going to know the ice cream machine will be working for the dessert?” We won’t risk that shit. Everyone will be getting a baked apple pie for dessert. The baked apple pie is what puts the “Dank” in “McDanks”. One of the most underrated food items on the planet. With how frequently every single ice cream machine goes down, it is absolute insanity that there aren’t more people who have had these. Highly reccommend.
Here is the absolute best part. Since this will be during Shamrock Shake season .. Shammy Shakes for everyone! (This won’t be advertised due to the unreliability of the ice cream machine) IF we are able to get everyone a shake, it would be a staple part of the dinner that everyone will talk about for years to come. Tiger winning in 2019 and Shammy shakes will be 1a and 1b of storylines on a yearly basis.
I have lowered my handicap to 20, so I am only a few years away from getting out there, winning and putting this MASTERpiece of a dinner together. See what I did there? š
A Fan With A Mic 