Schools are let out and it is officially Wiffleball Season at your local youth hangout. Be on the lookout for tennis balls, pinky balls and wiffle balls rolling into the street – those kids will risk their life to get the out. I remember playing Wiffleball every chance I got. Everyone comes a point in their life when the big red bat gets banned. This was when the creativity of children really takes over. Being the one to show up with a Wiffleball bat stuffed with newspaper and duct tape around the barrel was the 10 year old version of Big Dick Energy. The Wiffleball game was forever changed from that moment. Everyone started coming with their own bat, than someone found out that a pinky ball would be launched 1,000 feet on a clean hit. The mission of the summer simply becomes – how far can we hit a ball with a plastic stick .. and it is INCREDIBLE.
At points everyone decides they need to nurf the power a bit and go back to wiffle balls. After about 15 minutes, the realization that those will cap out at 50 feet force you to go back to a tennis ball. The game takes another step when you start going to a local park with a baseball field to play on. Your parents hated you because you will just come home covered in dirt from sliding into someones shoe – because who the fuck owns actual bases. By the end of the summer, all of your clothes were ruined and you hated your friends because of all of the competition all summer.
A Fan With A Mic 