Has anyone seen a baby bottle pop since ’06? I remember drinking that sugar as a pre-workout before basketball games as a child. These bad boys have apparently fallen off the face of the earth. I found a fantastic website snackhistory.com that has written a nice article on the prolonged history of Baby Bottle Pops – they have not been discontinued dispite some ghastly rumors. Not only do they still make Baby Bottle Pops, but they are apparently still very popular and available for purchase on Amazon. Maybe I need to hang around more children so I can suck on those tiny nipple shaped sugar delicacies.
After not seeing one since I turned 9, the assumption was these are gone for several valid reasons. As I have mentioned, children are able to use them as a pre-workout powder due to the 23 gram bottle holding 20 grams of sugar. Combining that with the fact that they look like little nipples that kids would delicately lick and shove into their mouths, I just assumed some Karen decided they gotta go and they were deemed poisonous to people under 10. Once you realized it looked like a nipple there was no more interest, so no one over 10 bought them.
Now that I know they are still around, I will begin eating these at extremely inappropriate times. I was trying to think of inappropriate places for a grown man to start sucking on a Baby Bottle Pop and realized the answer is all of them except a child’s birthday party .. Unless you don’t know anyone at the party -> WAY WORSE. Anyway, Let’s bring these bottles of crack back and make it ok for adults to eat these at their leisure.
A Fan With A Mic 